Friday, April 8, 2011

I'm really happy

I know it's 7 am and I have no idea why I'm awake...but since I am I might as well blog right? It's finally been warmer and sunnier and I am SO much happier even since monday. I was more depressed for the two weeks before that for still unknown reasons but I am so glad I am feeling better. I was driving home from school yesterday with my windows down and music blaring and all of the sudden I had this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to be ok. I was thinking back to where I was when I was sick or even just how unhappy I was for so many reasons growing up. And I really realized the extent to which I am happier. I still obviously get really depressed and anxious sometimes. Some days I just want to give up. Some days I'm convinced I was happier in my ED. But yesterday I felt the difference. The difference between where I was and where I am. The difference that could still be ahead for me and that I want more than anything. Yesterday I felt truly HAPPY. That with everything that still goes on I am happier than ever before and it helps me so much every time I realize this. Because I'm not done with the work and I'm not done recovering. So I can only assume it gets even better. And I'm excited :)

1 comment:

  1. I really love you right now. This is nice to hear. Thank you!! Days like this are what make recovery worth it!!! ;)