Sunday, February 5, 2012


One of my friends wrote a post about feeling the need to have a "perfect" recovery. This got me thinking because I hear this all the time. Let's face it- we are all perfectionists and see recovery as just another thing to perfect. This may be weird but I very rarely feel that way. I feel lucky that for whatever reason I haven't felt the need to do recovery perfectly. Maybe it's just how many amazing people I see go up and down. I realized a long time ago that recovery is so incredibly hard and if those people can't do it perfectly then it can't be done. And it wouldn't be worth it if it could be done perfectly.I actually think it is kinda cool that things aren't just level after leaving treatment. I like that there are always things to learn- I love having lightbulb moments that make me proud to have put some things together. I like seeing that when an urge gets worse than it has ever been, that I can still not act on it. I like seeing that I CAN still get up no matter how many times I fall. I think it all shows the resiliency of the human spirit. I like slowly getting more and more into a life that I want and know I deserve now. I like knowing I am strong enough to get through anything if I have gotten to this point. And honestly I LOVE watching the hardest work I will ever do pay off. I love watching it pay off for others too. Because ultimately if recovery wasn't worth it there is no way we would put ourselves through even more hell :) I don't believe in perfection unless you define it differently. For me perfection is always there. Things are perfect how they are. Anything individually is perfect. And ultimately everything IS individual and will follow an individual path that nothing else could- nothing else is meant to follow. I do think there is such a thing as perfection- in my opinion perfection is what IS. right here. right now. Perfection is what is REAL. And what is real is that recovery is UNBELIEVABLY EXCRUCIATINGLY HARD. So in reality recovery is perfection- no matter what it looks like.

"Just because its not what you were expecting doesn’t mean its not everything you’ve been waiting for"

"Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and start paying attention to why you are standing up" - anonymous

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