So...things are at least better than when I wrote the last post. Once I saw my therapist the next day I felt a little better. I was worried she was going to be mad but really I was worried she would tell me what I tell myself. That it's not hard to eat normally. That I always screw up. That I must just be trying to get attention. and on and on as I hear them when I say them to myself. Anyway the session went really well and for the second time EVER someone besides my first nutritionist talked me out of restricting... I even threw away my scale later that night. Eventually after I argued for awhile I agreed to write about the POSSIBILITY that I was self-sabataging... and as much as I hate admitting it, that might be true right now. I think things are really going generally pretty well especially considering only a year ago I tried to kill myself. I'm falling asleep but I'll update tomorrow about how well things are going and yet the new things I'm learning by being upset at the same time. I'm figuring out how to balance them.
"Stop worrying about what might hold you down, and start paying attention to why you are standing up" - anonymous
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